The Throne
by abookishravenclaw
Summary: When Kerttu made a decision that changed Illéa, her younger brother Anders suffered. And now, the consequences of those actions lie with his daughter, Emilia. As a newly crowned queen, under unforeseen circumstances, Em must now let thirty five suitors in her home. But will they fight for her, or her throne?
1. Chapter 1

"Would you like to start from the beginning?"

"The beginning?"

"Yes. From _your_ beginning"

I smooth the pleats in the bottom half of my dress suit. I'm nervous, but I know I shouldn't be. I'm used to being on national television.

Lights flash in my peripheral vision, a red-light signal somewhere to my right. Someone, somewhere clears their throat and then remains silent. I am introduced, hand shaken. The interview has begun.

 _Just to clarify some things, I'd like to begin with some simple questions and then we can move on to your segment. You were born as Emilia Josephine America Koskinen Shreave. Correct?_

"Yes."

 _You are the daughter of King Anders and Queen Valentina Koskinen Shreave, and the Heir of Illéa._

"Yes." As if the world needed confirmation. Again.

 _You have two siblings as well, yes?_

"Yes. Eleanor and Elias, the little rascal."

 _And how is your relationship with them?_

"We're closer now than we were a few years ago. Eleanor is a teenager now, same as me, so there is lots of common ground where we've found one another. Elias is...he's rambunctious – and gives me my weekly workout. He's a perfect toddler."

 _And what about your cousins in Swendway?_

I take a deep breath for this one. My cousins in Swendway have always been a sore topic – for me, for my family, for the country as a whole. There are too many people that still haven't forgiven my Aunt Kerttu for what she did all those years ago. "Magnus is a wonderful music professor in Oslink. Elissa is doing well as a nurse, and Ingrid is continuing her good work in the social service department of the Swendish government. But you already knew that"

Lindsay Gardner, journalist extraordinaire and host of the Report – and my interviewer – smiles a half-smile, a look I know all too well as her silently telling me not to steal her spotlight.

 _Yes, of course. What of your relationship with them?_

"We don't speak much. Here and there. I wish we would visit each other more often." I close my mouth and momentarily look out the window, where clouds have gathered over the Garden. That's _my_ signal to Lindsay that this topic is closed. No need to add fuel to the biggest forest fire in Illéa and risk the Illéan _and_ Swendish governments' ire on my head.

 _I see...And what of your parents – how are they?_

Way. To. Go. Lindsay. _Everyone_ knows how my family is feeling right now, and _that's_ the question she asks? Seriously, how did my dad hire this person? No. Wait. I shouldn't even answer that question. But the cameras are rolling, and I need to give an answer. I don't have a choice in anything, not anymore.

"My mother is well enough. She's always smiling, no matter what. She brightens the room – you know that, Lindsay. And... things are good. I've had a few precious conversations with _both_ my parents over the last few days. They support me. They've always supported me. I know I can make the country proud...but most of all, I hope I can make _them_ proud"

 _Why didn't you consider a Regent role? Wait until the King's rehabilitation and step down?_

Thanks for stepping it up with a difficult question, Lindsay. I love you – _not_. "I did consider it, but that option didn't make sense. Why make so much progress with my father's rehabilitation only to throw him back into the position that got us here in the first place? I could have disregarded my parents' wishes and became Regent as you wished. But knowing how much the country disagreed with my aunt's choices, I _couldn't_ afford to not finish something that I'd started. Everyone and everything's stability was in the balance"

 _Did Prince Mathieu tell you to say that?_

Ugh. Way to bring not just one branch of my family into this, but the whole damn tree. I smile sweetly, falsely. I hope I won't have to do that much for the rest of my life. "No, of course not. Though I'm sure he's caused quite a stir since arriving in... fashionably late French fashion. My cousin has helped keep the mood light, as have Étienne and Céleste. I'm incredibly lucky to have such support not just from my family and friends here in Illéa, but my family in France as well"

 _And... your classmates from North Angeles University didn't deter your decision?_

"My classmates know me. They knew that one day, I would have to part from my academics and turn to my duties. They have always been there to support me when that time came. I'm incredibly lucky to have them, and _them_ in particular. If it would have been any other group, any other combination, I don't know if I would have come this far in the first place."

 _How do you feel about being the first member of the Royal Family to host a Selection since your grandmother, Queen Eadlyn?_

"I guess I would feel the same as anyone else in the position: scared, nervous, excited...I don't think you could really put the feelings into words. I'm sure everyone will see them plain as day when the Selection begins in a couple of days" I want to pull my hair out. I'm terrified. I don't _want_ anyone to get to know me. I don't _want_ my love life to be exposed to the public. But do I have a choice? Well...I could have commanded that a Selection _not_ take place but...the public is antsy, my family is messed up – and everyone in the country knows that a Selection is a major cheer-up event, generating jobs and economic growth. If I pulled off what my dad and my aunt Kerttu did _again_ , I hardly think anyone would be pleased. Because that's what got us all in this mess in the first place. Logically, I know this will work. People will avert their eyes to my father's rehabilitation and stop being unhappy about his reign and my aunt Kerttu not-reign. I am a blank slate to them.

 _Will the Selected be attending the coronation party alongside your family and friends?_

Hmm "I'm not sure. I think that's up to the organizers. But if they are there, it will be a good opportunity for them to get a feel of things, and... get to know me, I suppose" I hope I don't have to meet any of them. I'd be fully content to just stick by my friends' side the whole evening, ridiculously large gown and all. I'll feel more comforted being around the people who will laugh at my dress and crazily dance with me all night instead of the polished waltzes that have been planned.

 _Now, this question actually came in from an anonymous citizen, and I think it's a fair question to ask: You've been in university for several years now. Are you sure there hasn't been_ one _instance where you were attracted to someone, even thought of doing what your father and aunt did?_

I wish this wasn't a fair question – but I was told by my advisors that it was the million-dollar question: the question to which the answer was supposed to be an affirmation that the Selection was happening, that I wasn't backing out, that I wasn't my father – and would never be, and that I would conform to the rules and the female version of great-grandpa King Maxon's Selection. "I'm still an adolescent. Attraction is natural, but I didn't let myself get too far ahead. I was always focused on the present in school, but I did let myself dream of a distant future where I was happily married. And I _have_ thought of both options, Lindsay: that one possibility was a husband chosen from a Selection, and that one possibility was a husband I fell madly in love with while in school. I still think it can go either way, though"

 _So you have some doubts about your Selection?_

"No, I only meant that I am still committed to finishing my education during my Selection. If, during that time, something happened outside of the Selection, I would _not_ turn a blind eye to it. I don't think it would be fair to limit myself in that way. But that being said, I also want to be committed to the Selection and the Selected young men. If I feel something there, I won't ignore it either" There is a pause as, finally, Lindsay takes a sip of water. I was wondering when she'd realize that her lips were getting too parched.

 _Last question – am I allowed any guess as to what your dresses will be tomorrow?_

Finally – something so lighthearted I can answer with ease "I'm sure the bookies are all on that, Lindsay. Just wait and see" I smile genuinely. The red light in my peripheral vision dims. Then a bell rings. The interview is over. It will be on the Report tonight.

I stand just as Lindsay does the same. I extend my hand. She shakes it, curtsies, and says "Your Majesty", as I thank her for taking the time to do this. Light bows and curtsies follow me outside the room as I head to my bedroom – my new "Queen's Suite" bedroom – and flop on the bed.

Yesterday, my father forcefully abdicated. Today, I let it sink in. Tomorrow, I will be coronated. And in two days, my Selection will begin.


	2. Chapter 2

My alarm doesn't go off the next morning. I'm shaken awake by my handmaiden, Sarah. At six in the morning. I swear under my breath and untangle myself from beneath my covers. As my eyes adjust to the golden light coming from my bedroom balcony, an explosion of sound reaches my ears. There are dozens of people walking in and out, while security patrols it all. The curtains covering my balcony doors are hastily covered, in case paparazzi try to sneak a peek.

"Good morning to you all, too" I mutter under my breath and walk by Sarah to my first stop of the day: rejuvenation, hair and makeup.

When I reach the dressing room just off a small lounge, the heavy realization of today hits me: Me. Today. Queen. Illéa. But I don't have a second to be nervous because I see my mother standing over my coronation dress. When she sees me, she hugs me with all the warmth in the world. Queen Valentina, the queen of hearts, of love, and endless support.

"I'm going to check on your father now, but I'll be back before you know it. Your sister is getting her hair done now. When she's done, she'll come here for official photos with you before we all head to the chapel" she says. I nod and smile as she waves to Sarah and leaves the dressing room. Then _my_ eyes finally register the coronation dress before me.

Beautiful gold and white embroidery covers the bodice, while the off-side shoulders look like pearl coloured leaves sticking to my body. The back is covered in the same pearl and gold latticework of leaves and magical swirls, pearl buttons going down my spine. The bottom flows gracefully from the waist and pools on the ground. The traditional purple and gold coronation cloak of Illéa is by another mannequin. Then I see the official crown – the one I will wear for only twenty minutes of my life. Purple velvet is encased a plethora of white gold crystals that meet at the top of the crown. Next to it are the two million bobby pins that will probably have to pierce my scalp to make sure the crown doesn't disrupt my hair when it comes on – which wouldn't really matter because, after the official ceremony, my hair is being redone for the coronation party, for which I will wear another beautiful dress.

It is to the left of the coronation gown. It has a gorgeous sweetheart neckline emblazoned with crystals, from which poor vines of crystals to the bottom of the full-length gown. Tiffany blue shimmers from every angle. The accompanying jewellery is also set on the dress' mannequin. But what my eyes ogle at is the tiara. When my mother told me yesterday that she'd had one in the works for a while, I didn't know what to expect. And I hate to admit it, but she made the right choice. It's a Poltimore tiara, with crystal swirls that run the length of the sides. Small pearls adorn the tips of the tiara's peaks – and complement my dress perfectly.

I sit in in front of a designated chair while a stylist comes behind me and begins...making me. An hour and a half into it, Eleanor comes in with a zip-up hoodie and sweatpants, eyes bleary from having not slept her essential eight hours. She sits in a chair next to me.

"What's up?"

"Hair's up"

"Haha, I see that. Do you want some coffee, Em?" she asks

"And wreck teeth that will be perfectly whitened for photo ops in a few hours? Heaven forbid" I laugh, mimicking grandma Eady. Eleanor's hair looks nice, simple yet exquisite. A twisting up-do capped with a small band of crystals and pearls on her head. She's not eighteen yet, so no tiara of her own until then.

"Just keep me away from the wine tonight. I can't get anything on the _pristine_ white dress I have to wear" she says

"You're not even legal to have alcohol, Eleanor" I reply

"This may sound harsh, but I'm a princess, no less the Heir of Illéa for the next little while. I'm sure if I have a glass of wine no one's going to disown me"

"I'm Queen. _I'll_ disown you" Eleanor looks at me horrified for a moment before I whisper "Jokes!" as I put a reassuring hand on hers.

My stylist is nearly done on my hair when Mom comes in with Elias. He's as handsome as a Prince of Illéa can be: slicked back light brown hair, a sapphire gleam in his Shreave eyes, and impeccable style in his suit and Royal sash.

"I wish I was six years old" I say "That way my hair can only take 10 minutes instead of ten hours"

"Oh, it's not _that_ long" Mom says as she put Eli down and comes over to me. Her hair is nearly done too; carefully placed rollers go all around her head. Eli goes to Eleanor and hugs her, then comes to me. But I see the fatigue in her eyes; dad must have tired her out. Not even endless royal court training could have avoided the look I saw in her eyes.

"Can I have two cookie, Majesty?" he says in his cute little voice. I smile at him as I hug him from my position on the chair. I love my little brother. I can't wait until he's my age and so drop-dead gorgeous from puberty that girls – or guys – faint at the sight of him.

"Only if you promise to brush your teeth right after" I say at his level. He nods as I call Sarah over to take him to get a couple cookies from the kitchenette in my Suite. Another Royal stylist comes and starts dabbing things on my mom's face just as another one says Eleanor's hair is done and sends her off to a makeup chair nearby. My hair takes another hour or so, and when I'm ready to go in for makeup, Sarah comes in with my phone in her hand. I'm tempted not to answer it. But I'm sure my friends wouldn't appreciate if I put my hair before them. So I take the phone.

Two texts from Jess and Tanner wish me good luck and that they'd see me in the chapel, and one text from Mel telling to call Noah and Galen and wake them up before they miss the whole thing. So I do that. Galen curses a string of profanities when he realizes he slept in and forgot to pick up a suit from the dry cleaner's. A phone call to Noah resulted in an unintelligible grumble. Typical. I laugh to myself. Nothing like Noah Kostas to keep things light like that.

When my makeup is halfway done, Mom and Eleanor step out to go get dressed, while I'm left with entertaining Elias, who has returned with cookie crumbs all over his face. I make sure Sarah takes care of that. He tells me I look like a cake with too much frosting. _Thanks, little brother._ I tell Jessica as much and she replies saying that no one can have enough frosting. A half-hour later, Tanner frantically texts me saying the Selected were announced and making their way to the chapel. When I asked him if there was anyone from Angeles that was Selected, he said he didn't think so, but then again that he didn't know who the lucky guys were. He was too busy getting ready for _my_ big day.

Then it was time to get into _the_ dress. The official crown was taken away to be placed in the chapel while I carefully piled on a few layers of underclothes before stepping into the dress. The purple cloak caressed me as I heard a soft sigh from nearby. When I turned around, my dad was standing there, Mom and Eleanor beside him. Elias ran up to him and my dad lifted him into his arms and kissed him lovingly. When he set him down, he tentatively stepped toward me. I smiled in acknowledgment.

"I have no words" he said as he embraced me, kindly.

"Sure you do" I said "Just tell me when there's a camera around so I can make a silly face" Dad smiled at that as Mom came over and hugged me gently, weary of disrupting anything on the who-knew-how-expensive coronation dress.

Soon, the people dispersed and only Sarah and a half dozen more people remained, directing us. The chapel was on the other side of the Palace, so we'd need to leave now to make it on time. Mom and Dad would go in first, followed by Eleanor, the new Heir, and Elias. Then, finally, when the trumpets sounded, I would enter and try not to trip over the heavy set of earrings weighing me down. I checked my phone one last time before we left. I saw another text message come in but had not time to check who sent it as I was ushered from the room.


	3. Chapter 3

I could hear the murmurs of people in the chapel, the excitement in their voices, the anticipation. I could sense the trigger-happy photographers waiting to pounce on the doors when they would first open. As things started to settle down, the High Priest approached me and gave me a few directions for the ceremony.

Then, it began. The High Priest and his ensemble entered first. Several minutes later, my parents were directed in. I think there were more cameras going off then than when his abdication was announced. Just before Eleanor and Elias went in, my younger sister hugged me and said "I love you".

My heart was pounding through my chest. My hands got sweaty by my side as an official guard handed me the Sword of Illéa to hold on my walk down the aisle. A deafening silence ensued. Then the trumpets blared. The chapel doors opened. And I walked inside.

Everywhere I looked, smiles adorned the faces of the people I loved most. I saw Jessica, Melanie, Tanner, and Galen on my right, and Noah on my left alongside other guest my parents invited. As I moved closer and closer to the altar I saw my cousins, my aunts, and uncles: Étienne and Céleste with their parents Dauphin Charles and Princess Anne; Prince Mathieu and my aunt Princess Henrietta; Amber, Loren, and Eugenia further ahead, my great-uncle Kaden beside them, and their parents on the other side; Petyr making faces at me to the dismay of his dad. My disappointment of not seeing Magnus, Elissa, or Ingrid lasted but a moment when I came before my parents and grandmother, who had flown in directly from Swendway after unsuccessfully trying to convince her daughter and grandchildren to attend.

A guard took the Sword of Illéa away as I bowed to parents, probably for the last time. The High Priest beckoned me forward, and I went to my knees as he used the Sword to place on either of my shoulders to begin the ceremony.

It seemed to last a lifetime, including the part where Eleanor was sworn in as the Heir, but I knew it was nearing its end when a weight fell on my head, my cue to stand, take the scepter and orb from the High Priest, and turn to face my subjects.

"Her Royal Majesty Queen Emilia Koskinen Shreave of Illéa. Long live the Queen!" announced the Priest, followed by a plethora of cheers and the commencement of another piece of music. I began moving down the aisle, nodding, smiling at anyone whose eyes I caught. When my eyes landed on a band of boys to my right, I almost choked, realizing that these were my _Selected_. There was an empty spot in one of the pews where the boys stood and bowed, and I wondered if one of them bowed out of the whole thing already. Better for him, probably. When I turned to my friends, their genuine smiles gripped me. They bowed extra low, but I knew they didn't have to. I knew they did it on purpose. I could see Galen and Tanner trying to suppress laughs. Only Noah, who had since went to stand on their side, rolled his eyes and gave a small, almost nervous, nonexistent bow, before I stepped on the threshold of the chapel doors that would lead to a foyer looking to the outside of the Palace.

When I reached that threshold, I was floored by the amount of Illéan flags flapping crazily, the cheers and whistles as I acknowledged them. There were posters too, but I think their messages were too swallowed up by the pounding in my ears telling me that _I had did it._ I waved to the crowd as my brother and sister appeared beside me, Elias hand in Eleanor's own. My mother and father soon appeared too, and my father gave me a peck on the check as he held on tightly to my mother. I could only imagine how difficult this must be for him, but if I looked just even a little nervous or unprepared, things could blow up in my face. Eleanor gave me an encouraging smile as we waved for a little while longer, before stepping back inside and heading to the Women's Room, where official photographs would be taken.


	4. Chapter 4

When we stepped into the Women's Room, my grandmother was already waiting, a collected smile on her face as we embraced. My grandfather was there too and he smiled like an idiot as he looked at me, whispering that I was beautiful in Swendish. That was before my grandmother jabbed him, reminding him that she was very beautiful too. I could tell she took extra care to take those extra Swendish lessons.

My cousins were there too; Céleste hugged me fiercely when she saw me, which prompted a photographer to take a candid picture before the rest of our "VIP" guests arrived. I ran up to my friends as soon as I saw them, crushing into Jess and Mel, then hugging Tanner and Galen, and finally Noah who slipped in just as I was wondering where he was.

"Where were you?" I nudged him playfully

"Escaping the vicious media and Lindsay Gardner" he replied. I rolled my eyes. Lindsay always had an eye for my friends.

"I'm pretty sure I told her that no one was allowed to interview you guys" I said looking to my friends "I'll have chat with her about that" My friends smiled nervously then as a photographer asked me to step into the designated space to take pictures.

Some were taken with my parents, some with my siblings, some with the whole family and my cousins and aunts and uncles, as well. A half-dozen with my grandparents, the great Queen Eadlyn and Prince Consort Erik (always Eikko to grandmamma). Then it was my friends' turn in the spotlight. I had solo shots with each of them, and a few serious ones, before we giggle down for my favourite shot, one I _know_ I'll keep forever: the six of us happily laughing arm in arm. Noah took a few selfies with us too, ignoring the official photographers' pleas. I loved that, and I let him know it.

After the final shots, a photographer came and asked me if I'd like to have photo ops with the Selected as well, before going to get changed for the reception. Grandmamma Eadlyn said it was a good idea, as she had done the same, but Noah blanched. Tanner laughed at him.

"What? You're jealous of three dozen guys?" he said. Noah simply told him to shut up as I kindly declined the offer. I hardly think I'd want the first meeting with a possible spouse to be in a such a formal setting. At least grandmamma Eadlyn had known her potential suitors a little bit before she was even half-comfortable taking pictures with them like that.

My cousins and friends hugged me one last time before they left the room and I made my way back to my Suite, followed by the flashes of cameras trying to get a glimpse of their new queen.


	5. Chapter 5

Sarah was there, going over the proceedings for the rest of the day. There would be a tea hour for guests and Selected while my family and I got ready for the party. Once the royal guests and Selected were introduced and seated, a violin orchestra would play our family's favourite, courtesy of the list of favourite songs Queen America and King Maxon had compiled during their reign. Following that, drinks would be served, but not taken. Because that's when the Royal Family would enter; I would make my entering speech, the wines would be drunk, and the party would begin. I only hope the hired orchestra would allow Tanner to interrupt the music so he could put the "young people's playlist".

My other advisors never failed to mention that I would have to do a first dance with my father, and that it was imperative to look solemn and happy at the same time, or else the tabloids would explode just before the Selection. According to Illéa, that would be a big no-no. I was beginning to realize that the extra rules from being a princess to becoming a queen was not that much of an easy transition.

When there's a lull in the new jewellery dressing, I take a good long look at myself in the mirror. It's intimidating to see myself so dressed up like this; I love it, but I also love being casual, instead of formal, jeans instead of skirts, a relaxed face instead of always pinched from smiling. _But this is me. I can't change it – I'm not going to complain because that didn't do anyone any good. If by smiling I can make someone else smile, be it better that I do it._ Sarah helps me out of my Suite; the dress isn't as heavy as the coronation gown, but the train is longer, and I'm the clumsy princess, as Eleanor puts it. When we were kids, she'd find any excuse to laugh at me when I tripped going up the stairs of the palace, in private or in front of all the Report cameras. As we walk down the empty, darkened halls, strewn with the Queen's Guard – my guards – I think of Sarah. How much school she must have gone through to be invited to an interview for the job of Personal Assistant to the Royal Family. She told me the story once – she worked feverously to pass an Illéan and American history exam as well as a court etiquette one, not to mention she was screened not only for a criminal record but for compatibility with members of the Royal Family. She went through three group interviews, one individual interview, and waited six weeks before she finally got the call. I'll admit, it _was_ awkward at first, our interaction a little too formal for my taste, but she'd been there for me the last four years, and she did her job well. I'm glad we're friends now.

As we approach the grand double oak doors of the Amber Ballroom, I get a quick debriefing from a Royal Interpreter, though I'm getting more of a debrief hearing my guests talking the night away beyond the closed doors. Mom, Dad, and my siblings join me quickly; an official photographer following us takes a candid shot of the new Queen and her Heir. I can tell by my sister's genuine smile that she's soaking up her limited years as my first in line to the Throne. I stand to the side as the doors open and, like at the coronation, my parents enter first, but unlike the earlier ceremony, my siblings and I enter the Amber Ballroom hand in hand, smiling devilishly. Eleanor is wearing a delicious light salmon coloured gown, pear-bedazzled bodice and all, designed by only the best Swendish-Illéan dual citizen she could find. Elias is simple and cute in his tux and tie. As we go through the throng of guests, we see many bows and continued applause. Our French cousins bow respectfully, smiling lovingly, and our good friends, the Italian Grand Duke and Duchess take our hands and kiss them. So old-fashioned those Italians, but what can you do?

My siblings and I go behind our table, not unlike the front and center table present at most weddings. I bow my head at our dignitaries and stand before the microphone, a copy of my speech hologrammed on screens before me. I take a deep, slow breath, look into the crowd, to the Report cameras focused on me, spot my friends, spot Noah's quirky wink, and begin:

"Your Majesties, Your Highnesses, dear esteemed guests, family, and my closest friends. There is much more to the statement of the end of a reign, than just exercised words. It is the end of a period of strife, but also of great bravery, to take on such grand responsibilities all on your own. The end of one reign also signifies the beginning of another. To me, it means gaining the people's trust, it means responsibility, and it means a lot of work ahead. By allowing me to take this sacred Throne and to lead Illéa to a new age of opportunity, you, the people, have shown me that you accept the changes brought on for the better of our country. Thank you, I am ever so grateful, and I hope to repay the people of Illéa with my undying love for you all, through acts of responsible kindness, and love. I love Illéan and its unique diversity with my whole being; my heart just swells thinking of our great kingdom. In my stead as Queen, I promise to love and protect you with my heart. I will do my best to inspire new confidence into our beloved state.  
A few days ago, it was unthinkable that this seat of authority would be available to me. It was an undiscovered territory. But my father's decision to step down symbolizes all of Illéa's strength – to do what is just, not matter the cost. Since the announcement, I found myself in untested waters. But without you, my family and best friends, without your courage and unyielding support, I daresay I would not be here with you this evening. Until this moment in my life, though I had many opportunities to begin to live up to my family and myself, I often felt lonely. So thank you for being there for me and my family, and thank you so graciously for being here tonight and donating small funds for the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ottaro's annual cancer research gala.  
A former Danish King once said, "This moment is _us_ – the two of us – newly together, young together, innocent together...You give me security, joy, and happiness" and I believe that as of tonight, by interacting and working together, we move forward to make Illéa stronger than it was, a star kingdom...Eleanor told me to say that.  
Elias, Eleanor...mother...father, thank you for telling me it's all right to be scared and excited at the same time. Thank you for telling me it's all right to jump into the abyss, and to discover new things. From this day forward, like the Illéan monarchs that came before us, we must always have hope and wish...to the stars who will listen, and to the dreams that answer. Thank you"

I'm telling you, I didn't expect the ovation from the hall of three hundreds guests. When I sat down to write the speech, I thought the bits with the _new era_ and continuous thank-yous and references to how I will, indirectly, get Illéa out of its scandalous image, were clichés. And maybe the guests thought so too; but maybe they also thought it was refreshing to hear a positive message come from the Palace again. It made me grateful that I was taking my new role well. I looked to my family, then to my guests as we drank the wine that was toasted with the hopes of a long reign.

When I had the first chance to go around the tables, I made sure to see my Angeles friends last, excluding the Selected, which I had tried to avoid, to ensure I could speak with them longer. As I got there, I felt a tension between my friends. Tanner and Jessica kept staring at each other, Galen gulped as he saw me (he told me he was over his initial crush on me in freshman year), and Melanie kept glancing away, avoiding eye contact. What the hell was going on? Since, noticeably, Noah was missing too, and had been acting weird the whole day.

"What?" I said

"Don't freak out" Mel broke as she reassuringly gripped my wrist. "Just stay calm"

"Well I think it's cute" said Jessica, looking to Tanner and Galen

"Guys?" I said, looking their uncomfortable glances at me "Unless you're acting weird to tell me my dress makes me look... _unattractive_ , then what's wrong?" I was really concerned now.

"Noah kind of did something stupid" said Tanner "And he didn't tell us about it until this morning. I told him it would bring you a whole set of problems you couldn't deal with, but he said his brother Jorden took care of it, even though no one knows what he meant and I –

"think you should consider shipping him home asap to avoid tabloid speculations and awkwardness and –

"cuteness" added Jess, cutting Galen off.

"and just...listen Em, just talk to him now, before Lindsay Gardner makes a beeline for him and finds private stuff to tell" Galen finished, just as I looked to where he was pointing, to the table designated for the Selected, where Noah sat, staring straight at me.


	6. Chapter 6

Noah straightened, loosened, his tie and was about to stand. I gave my friends a cool once over and went directly over, but not too quickly, lest the Report cameras – or Lindsay Gardner – think something was up. I swiftly passed by his table and moved my head, motioning him to discreetly follow me. The other Selected seemed to notice me get closer and a few actually blushed. On my way to a side door, I told anyone who asked – mainly my mom – that I was heading to a restroom. I opened the first door to the right, one of the Palace's many studies, and left the door ajar. It was a room with wall to wall bookshelves and rolling staircases, a few crystal chandeliers, a piano, and of course, a desk. It wasn't as grand as the Great Library, but it was where palace job interviews might take place, or a secondary study to dad's – now my – official office upstairs.

Noah joined me about five minutes later. I was staring straight at the door, just waiting for him to come in. My heart inexplicably jumped beats, but I had no clue why. This was _Noah_.

"Hi" I said as he closed the door, locked it. I internally chuckled. Noah knew the palace, not inside out, but apparently enough to know how the lock systems worked. Noah tried to give a curt bow and was about to speak, maybe something to the tone of _Your Majesty_.

I laughed, and rolled my eyes as I shook my head. "I swear if you call me anything but my name, I'll throw you in the cellars"

Noah laughed back; as a group of friends, we'd always had this easy humor since day one. I think we both reverted to it, trying to avoid certain words, certain things we wanted, _needed_ , to say to one another. But I was patient; I waited, no matter how much I wanted to lash out.

"I didn't think I'd get picked – I – After Cassandra, I acted rashly, maybe stupidly. I mean, I was filling out the stupid application instead of studying for that midterm. And I didn't think anything of it. But when I got picked, I thought, I don't know, that you'd be angry. And then I got nervous for some reason. I'm sorry I didn't call you right away; I texted you, but I think I was too late"

I took a breath. I knew a little about Noah's anxieties from his past, and about his fresh ex, Cassandra Clearwater, but I knew little about what he felt, until that moment. "I don't know what to say" I said, carefully "But I'm _not_ angry at you" I was about to say more, but the doors shifted, being tested.

"Gurl, I know you're here, I saw you leave and this is the only locked door that's not the bathroom. You're going to have your first dance with dad" Eleanor voiced herself just outside. I made a face at the door, before I looked at Noah and said, "I'll come by later".

When I left, Noah still in the study behind me, I told Eleanor some bull story about how I needed air and that this particular study gave the _best_ views of the gardens. When Eleanor told me to calm my heart, I know she thought it was because I would have to dance with my beloved – disgraced by many Illéans, along with my absent aunt Kerttu – father. But I was really shaking because I thought I knew, that in that moment, that Noah Kostas had just told me, in his own boy-cryptic words, that he _liked_ me. And I seriously had no idea how to feel about that.


	7. Chapter 7

It seems like everyone is waiting for me in the ballroom when I return. The guests have given me a wide berth as I enter. I see the pianist and the violin quartet. And then I see Eleanor, completely beside herself, looking around. When her eyes finally land on me, she shakes her head, and my heart drops. I turn toward where my parents would be sitting, but neither is there. Instead, I see Elias being tended to by his nanny, Maria. Out of the corner of my eyes, I see my friends and my Selected moving closer. To _support_ me. I see Noah approaching, but I give him and look and he stops. I look back to the grand piano, where the hired musician is waiting for my green light.

I go to Eleanor. She looks at me with worried eyes, wondering if I'll break like her. Instead of giving Lindsay Gardner what she thinks she wants, I'm going to give everyone what they need. I remove my crown, my sash, the lucky ring Grandma Eady gave me. I walk confidently to the piano in utter silence. My sister – god bless her – takes the hands of one of the Selected close to her. I see Jess taking my esteemed pain in the ass cousin Prince Mathieu by the hand and guiding him reluctantly to the dance floor. Mathieu loves a show, but he hates doing anything without purpose. He doesn't know Jess well, though they've met on several occasions over the years. Once she whispers in his ear, he straightens smiles, and the show goes on. Tanner takes my cousin Princess Celeste's hand, while Galen finds some Italian dignitary. Then, I see Noah walk confidently to Prime Minister Harper's daughter Raulina.

In this moment, when my fingers find the keys, the pedals, I'm not a queen. I'm just a heartbroken girl who loves her father too much. But who could see _that_ in the life of a girl who has been documented since birth? Who really sees me? My friends see Em, just that friend who comes to class and smiles. My family sees the near perfect queen? And me? I see myself as someone who'd rather be anywhere else. And, at first, I think it's because my dad's not there. But something tells me it's not. As I'm moving from the second verse to the hook, I feel the hand of the pianist on my back. He scoots me off the bench, and my cousin Prince Etienne takes my hand, swirls me around once. It frees me – no crown, no problem. I move to Galen, then Tanner. I spin once around Eleanor and Celeste, and feel Mel clap me on the back as she resumes dancing with her partner. I get an encouraging smile from Raulina Harper. The music keeps building faster and faster in my head. I can hear it, feel the next note, the next movement.

And then I'm spinning with Noah, for a heartbeat. I try to avert my gaze, but he nudges me on, and I pass other selected who take my hand for a second. I'm spinning in happiness. And I find myself with my hands on my father's chest, who, without missing a step, spins me around to a melody different than the one we rehearsed, but he is ever a Shreave with a Swendish touch. I can't find it in me to speak, to say anything, cruel or polite. I hope the message in my eyes is enough. I feel my dress flowing around me, and I'm so glad I dropped my crown off near Eleanor. The last waning beats of the piano keys echo as my father steps back to bow. The formal moment is over before it's begun, when Elias jumps into my arms, and when I see my mother near the ballroom's back doors. I whisper to my little brother:

"You think we should thank everyone?"

"Not with another long speech. Promise!" I smile at him, and I promise. I do what I told myself I would not. I approach the Selected set in a half-circle around my father, myself, and my brother. With open arms, I hug them collectively as I say thank you. I hear whispers of their names. The first is _Alexandre_. There's Rylan, Taniel, and Avery. I see my uncle Osten and his son. Uncle Kaden hoots while my cousins roll their eyes and him and jab their grandfather playfully. I give a group hug to them without shame, hooting all the same, as Loren tries to poke me, as Amber and Eugenia giggle profusely. I save Eleanor for a private moment, when she re-fastens my sash and crown atop my head.

"You look better with it anyway"

As I make my way to my friends, I see Noah retreat in the stream of special photographers that rush forward. Our eyes meet Lindsay Gardner's for a moment, and we know we have a moment of thanks reserved just for us after the night ends. I've never held onto Tanner, Mel, Galen, and Jess so tightly. They tell me things only the closest friends would. In a flurry of emotions where the older guests all try to see who my friends really are, Eleanor and Mathieu step up and call to someone. Next thing I know, electronic music pounces, and all the young adults in the room converge to the center, kick their heels and bobby pins off, and just enjoy being kids. I meet more of my Selected, and I smile at them when they look at me admiringly. Though I appreciate they don't get too close to me – officially introducing each other tomorrow morning would be a lot easier and less awkward, I think.

At some point, I think my friends leave to go back to the dorms at school. I know Prime Minister Harper and his family bid me adieu after a couple more photographs. I kiss Elias goodnight as my mom retires with him. I know she wants to tell me sorry, but she also knows that doing it is pointless. She's as hurt by my father as the rest of us. Sometimes I think she has it worse because she doesn't have the official authority to do something about it. According to Illéan law, she can't take over the throne for a while. I wouldn't wish any cabinet advisors to pounce on her either. At least if they try to take advantage of me, it'll seem more obvious. I should get some tips from Grandma Eadlyn sooner rather than later.

I hear Sarah in my ear an hour or so later. The reception is quieting down, and more guests are leaving. I wonder what took them so long, and I can feel Sarah feels the same way. I'm sure she wants to go get a few hours' sleep too. As the Heir, Eleanor's now in charge of seeing the rest of our guests off after I leave. I hear Sarah and a couple other advisers whispering to her that she should direct the Selected to their rooms, before I'm whisked away to my own wing. Though, as the crown, endless pins, and dress come off, instead of relaxing for sleep, my heart begins beating louder. In my head, I hear Noah's heart beating loudly too, waiting.


	8. Chapter 8

I'm impatiently waiting for a sign. Not a shooting star or anything; just a text, or a call...something. I've been in my North Angeles University sweater for an hour, but thank god for the comfy leggings that cost as much as some people's tuition. When my phone finally buzzes, I reach for it on the dressing table where I left it quickly enough that I forget it was still plugged into the wall and I fall back. The text is simple. It's from Eleanor.

 _Second door to the right_

I'm just about ready to pounce out my door, not caring whether I bother my guards when I get another frantic text from my sister.

 _Wait! Just wait five minutes. The guys just got in. They'll be changing. Unless you want to see Noah shirtless_

I mentally want to slap El in the moment, but she makes me giggle all the same. I put on some loafers, leave my phone plugged in – and away from tripping hazards – and open my double ivory-gold doors. No guards. Wow. Either the reception was that good, or my regular guards think I'm such a laughing stock queen that they don't want to guard me. The queen's suite is one wing over and two floors above the guest wing, where my thirty-five boyfriends will be living. My only consolation is that their wing is as far away from dad's bedroom as possible. I still don't know how many appreciate him for stepping down and how many want to kill him.

I know El's text meant Noah's room is second to the right of what my sister and I have named the Public Eye over the years. It's basically a giant window overlooking the front, very public gardens of the Palace where tours take place. Prime Minister Harper suggested we open front garden to tours seven years ago, just before Elias was born. What my sister and I soon discovered was that tourists were very keen on trying to get a snap of us. Like the Report wasn't enough. So, we all learnt to avoid it. As I step onto the landing of the guest suites, I see a flurry of quiet activity. Butlers coming and going and – boys. Lots of shirtless and tight pyjama-wearing handsome men who might just kiss me. I take a step back and hide on the landing before the open corridor until I hear the small noises subsiding. When I deem it safe, I turn.

There's only the one butler going around and making sure my guests have everything, giving last-minute info and scheduling for tomorrow – for a few hours from now. And, of course, my luck, there's a tall shirtless guy in sweats and loafers like mine probably getting ready to sleep with his Palace-issued tuition-cost pyjama top, which he isn't wearing. When our eyes catch each other, instead of speaking or doing any motioning of any kind, he smiles at me. No winking, no cursory glances to other areas of my body. Just an innocent smile. And I smile back and wave, and mouth _See you tomorrow_ , even though I have no clue who this guy who is too tall for me is. He mouths back _See ya_ in that dazzling tight-lipped smile and heads in. I almost forget why I'm there until out of the corner of my eye, I see the butler opening the door next to tall-handsome-guy. The second door to the right. Whatever is said there is quick, and soon the butler moves past me and down the corridor to the Workers' Staircase. Now's my chance. And I have no idea why the hell I'm so damn nervous.

I get to the door. I don't want to knock, because I don't want others to hear, and wonder if it's the butler who has come back or if it's someone else...I just put my ear to the door, and make sure my mouth is close to the handle.

"Noah, it's me" I whisper, and I'm met with momentary silence before an involuntary finger on the handle makes me realize the door wasn't locked in the first place like it should be. Once I'm in a feel a low breeze ruffle hairsprayed ends of hair

"Noah?" No answer. But I don't need one. The breeze, as I suspected, is coming from the open bay window that overlooks the dark front garden. And there's Noah Kostas, leaning against the stone bannister beyond the open shutters. He turns at the sound my footsteps make.

"Hey" he says, like always. What he says when I meet him outside our geopolitics lecture hall, or on my way to the library to study with Jess, or to get Tanner that bake sale cupcake he so desperately wanted when I sent him a picture. I approach him and sit on the wall below the window.

"So" I say

"You really want to know?"

"Not if you're not willing to tell me the truth" I reply

Noah chuckles to himself "I don't know what to do. And I sure as hell don't want to force anything for some sort of sappy story. I'm perfectly fine going with the flow"

"And what if...things...become more?"

"Regardless of what happens, I think things are going to be a little awkward" He doesn't look me in the eye when he says this. But I understand him; do I want to give Illéans a perfect love story and call my Selection quits right away? Or do I let things develop, risk things...changing. Noah's basically just told me, in his typically indirect way, that he's liked me for a while, but never thought he had a chance for who I was, and who I was destined to become since I was born. I don't ask him about Cassandra, his ex. I can't bring myself to discuss his ex now, and it's weird because I don't know why I'm hesitating on that now. Noah's been content with my friendship and now he doesn't know what to do with the unknown.

"Regardless of what happens" I say, "We need to figure out if we're going to play the 'we're strangers' card, or if we admit we both attend NAU"

"Well, feigning ignorance worked pretty well for your great-grandparents, didn't it?" I shove Noah now as I smile at him. Yeah, Maxon and America had it all figured out, even if they didn't know it.

"Can you handle the spotlight if we do go public?"

"Em, I've been your friend for how many years now? I'm used to giving paparazzi my good side" he says as he pokes me playfully

"Come on, Noah, stop joking" I stop, roll my eyes in his general direction. Then, I think of something. "Hey, how hasn't the press or Gardner figured out our connection yet?"

"I may or may not have asked my brother to hide some student records last minute. It's why I slept in and why I was late for the ceremony, _and_ why I ended up standing on the Selected side for half the religious stuff"

"Did you do that to protect yourself or me?" I ask, hoping beyond hope he'll say –

"What do _you_ think?" he retorts. I shrug my head in uncertainty. "I did it to get Gardner off my ass from asking questions...about you. And _I_ know I should've told you, but there was no time, and Jordan said –

"I don't care about the 'I needed to protect you' crap. That ship sailed when my dad decided to abdicate and I had to hear it on the campus loudspeakers" Noah seems relieved. We sit in quiet for a while, just looking at Noah's bedroom, at the four-poster bed and the dressers devoid of any books, unlike his messy dorm room at NAU.

"Just don't send me home, unless you plan to do it tomorrow. I wouldn't be able to stand making it all the way and watching you..." he trails off

"I promise I'll never do that. Unless you want me to, I won't do it" I reply, smile at him with my hairspray hair ends blowing around my face. But Noah doesn't go to reach to push the pieces behind my ears. We just extend our fists and bump them. We end up talking for hours about the books he didn't have time to bring over, and how my tiara-less piano move was a gem. And despite that, strangely, I couldn't even bare to tell him about the tall guy I sat in the corridor just before I went to see him.

When the conversation dies down, and the moment becomes too quiet to remain platonic, we get up from our spots under the window. Annoyed with the status of my hair, I twist the strands into a bun on top of my head, no elastic required. One of the only things I'm a pro at. Noah and I go to his door. There's a small moment but it's there and I don't know how to react. We hug, tightly, me on my tippy toes, him with his strong yet slender arms.

"See you in a few hours" he says, and we move away from each other. I leave, he closes the door, and for fifteen minutes, I find myself sitting against his door, just trying to wrap my head around my family, my constitutional monarch role, and my not best-friend who has confused feelings and doesn't know if he wants to act on them to help me move away from all the crap attention in my life. Truth is, I don't know how to react either. I need to make the Selection last as long as possible. But, in the depths of my heart, I know I don't want to. Because I'm hanging on to the blooming fact that I like Noah too. And, like him, I have no idea what the hell to do with those complicated feelings.


End file.
